


Ebb and Flow

by Agapostemon



Series: Cardboard Castles [15]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkwardness, Bittersweet, Comfort/Angst, Keith and Shiro are Siblings, M/M, Minor Keith/Lance (Voltron), Minor Matt Holt/Shiro, POV Lance (Voltron), Panic Attacks, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10094612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agapostemon/pseuds/Agapostemon
Summary: Lance just wanted to drop off some borrowed dishes. He didn't anticipate walking his boyfriend's seemingly-unflappable brother through a panic attack. Or whatever this is. He definitely didn't sign up for this, and he really doesn't know what to do. And yet... here he is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warnings: Cursing, description of a panic attack/flashback
> 
> This takes place a couple months after [False Start](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9884657/chapters/22165712)
> 
> This is just a quick little thing I wrote, based on a prompt I got over on Tumblr. (My Voltron blog is [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/), by the way, and you're absolutely welcome to chat with me or send me Voltron-related writing prompts!)
> 
> Character Ages for Reference:  
> Shiro - 30  
> Matt - 28  
> Keith - 21  
> Lance - 21

Lance holds a casserole dish, mixing bowl and hand mixer under one arm and knocks with the other. With Keith away at work, Lance got bored and decided to walk over to Shiro’s place to return some of the cookware he’s borrowed over the past few weeks.

Now that he’s not living with Hunk, Lance can’t just borrow his best friend’s cookware. Luckily, Matt and Shiro live just two blocks away, and they have a plethora of cookware that they never seem to use. Needless to say, Lance often finds himself at their door to borrow or return assorted kitchen necessities. (Or at least… Lance thinks they’re necessities. Shiro, Matt and Keith all seem to feel differently.)

Today, though, no one is answering the door. Which is interesting, because today is a Saturday. Usually at least one of them is home on a Saturday afternoon. Huh. Maybe he should text them? Matt is less intimidating than Shiro, so he goes with that option.

> _Lance (1:03pm): Hey my dude_
> 
> _Lance (1:03pm): You guys home? I’m at your door with cookware._
> 
> **Matt (1:04pm): ohai thur! i’m out grocery shopping, but shiro should be home**
> 
> _Lance (1:04pm): Well, he isn’t answering the door!_
> 
> **Matt (1:04pm): oh, huh. he wasn’t feeling too well, so maybe he’s napping?**
> 
> _Lance (1:05pm): OK but… these dishes??_
> 
> **Matt (1:05pm): you’ve got our key, right? just let yourself in and put ‘em on the counter**
> 
> _Lance (1:05pm): Cool cool_
> 
> _Lance (1:05pm): Thanks man_
> 
> **Matt (1:06pm): np!**

Lance detaches his keys from his belt loop and fiddles one-handed until he finds the right key to insert into the doorknob, swinging the door open.

At which point Shiro (who is apparently in the kitchen) yelps and ducks behind a counter, causing Lance to shriek and drop everything he’s holding. “Holy crow, Shiro! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” he asks as soon as he regains his ability to breathe.

He looks down at the mess at his feet. The casserole dish is cracked irreparably, but at least there’s no glass all over the floor. Everything else seems to have come out unscathed. He shrugs and leaves them there while he goes to figure out what the heck is up with Shiro. Keith’s calm, composed, slightly intimidating older brother doesn’t seem like the sort to yelp and dive behind counters, but… hey, you never know.

He tiptoes into the kitchen, where he finds Shiro _cowering_ behind the counter. He’s curled into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest and breathing in ragged pants and gasps. His eyes are glazed over, and he doesn’t even seem to notice when Lance enters the room.

He’s wearing headphones, which explains why he didn’t answer the door.

Also, there’s a pot boiling over on the stove. Lance figures he should probably take care of that first, so he steps gingerly around Shiro and turns the stove burner off. Which might have been a mistake, because Shiro winces backwards with something between a grunt and a whimper.

What? What is Lance even supposed to do in this situation? This is Keith’s cool older brother! He’s not supposed to be…

What even is this? Lance knows he was in a plane crash, so maybe this is… a flashback? A panic attack? Is he having a medical emergency?

Better question: will he totally freak out if Lance touches him?

Welp, time to find out.

Lance kneels down and plucks an earbud out of one of Shiro’s ears, causing him to flinch a little. “Hey Shiro,” he says, his voice riddled with uncertainty, “You okay? Uh… is there anything I can do?”

Shiro’s eyes widen.

Lance is not 100% sure Shiro recognizes him, so just for good measure he adds, “I-it’s just Lance. Y’know, Keith’s boyfriend? I came to drop off some dishes. Sorry if I like… scared you or whatever. Matt told me to let myself in.”

Apparently that was the right call, because Shiro’s eyes unglaze a little and hone in on Lance’s face. He looks so scared. This is so surreal.

“Can I touch you?” Lance asks tentatively. He’s spent enough time around Keith and Pidge to know not to unexpectedly touch someone in situations like this.

Shiro opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but then he closes it and just nods.

Lance plops down into a cross-legged sit and reaches out a hand to rest heavily on Shiro’s knee.

This is _weird_.

They just sit like that for a few minutes. Lance listens as Shiro’s ragged breathing slowly steadies.

Eventually, Shiro sits up straight and flumps his back and head against the cabinet, reaching up a hand to pluck the remaining headphone out of his ear. He’s sweaty. His white bangs are practically plastered to his face, and the purple v-neck he’s wearing is thoroughly soaked through.

Lance decides to try talking again, “You, uh… you okay?”

Shiro slowly turns his head to face Lance, still panting a bit. “Yeah,” he says, his voice raspy and weak, “Yeah, I’m okay.” He hefts himself into a slightly more upright position, knocking Lance’s hand off his knee in the process, “Sorry you had to see that.”

Lance frowns. What is he even supposed to say in a situation like this? Shiro’s supposed to be the one saving everybody else from their mental health crises, not the other way around!

 _Oh_.

Wait. Maybe this is _why_ Shiro is so good at walking people through crises.

That’s a little sad to think about, so Lance shoves the thought away and goes back to thinking of a response. He can’t think of anything particularly meaningful, so he settles on, “Sorry you had to… exist that.”

Shiro lets out a tired puff of laughter, “I’m used to it.”

Suddenly, Lance has a horrible thought, “Did… I cause that?”

“What? No,” Shiro assures him, “I’d been fending that off for hours. Just one of those days. It was bound to happen eventually.”

Lance is unconvinced, but he nods, “Okay. Well, I’m still sorry for startling you and stuff.”

“It’s fine,” Shiro says with a pained smile, “Thank you for sitting with me.”

“By the way,” Lance says with a sheepish grin, “I miiight have broken your casserole dish, just a little bit.”

Shiro lets out a small snort that sounds more like a sneeze than a laugh, “Don’t worry about it. You’re the only one who uses it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna go lay down. My head is killing me, in more ways than one.”

With that, Shiro uses the counter to heft himself into a standing position.

“Okay, feel better soon!” Lance says, standing as well.

Shiro looks embarrassed. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

Oops.

After Shiro returns to his bedroom, Lance glances around, pondering what needs to happen next. First of all, he should probably retrieve his keys and pick up the cookware he dumped all over the living room floor. So he does that. (He also sheepishly removes his shoes, because he forgot to do that when he first came in. Oops again.)

Second of all, there’s a pot of macaroni on the stove, just waiting to finish cooking. He can’t just let that go to waste, right? So he shrugs and walks over to the stove, turning the heat back up and bringing it to a boil. It’ll probably be a little mushy, but still edible.

Just as Lance is preparing to add the cheese powder, Matt walks through the front door, loaded down with grocery bags, and gives him a quizzical look.

“I’m makin’ mac and cheese!” Lance announces proudly.

“I see that!” says Matt, setting down his groceries and slipping off his sandals, “Is there a particular reason why you’re doing it in my house?”

“Uh, well... it’s a long story,” Lance says, “By the way, you should probably check on your boyfriend. He had some kind of panic attack? Type thing? I sat with him, and then he went to take a nap. He forgot his mac and cheese, so I’m cooking it… you want some?”

Several emotions flash across Matt’s face in rapid succession, but eventually he settles on an odd blend of concern and amusement, “Oh! Yeah, I’d love some mac and cheese. I’m gonna go sit with Shiro, so you can just bring it into the bedroom when it’s ready.” With that, he turns to walk down the hallway. A few steps before the bedroom door, he freezes and turns around like he forgot something, “Thanks for sitting with him, by the way.”

Then he disappears into the bedroom before Lance can say “Don’t forget your groceries!”

Oh well. Lance can remind him when he goes to deliver the mac and cheese. He turns his attention back to the slightly mushy noodles, dumping in the cheese powder and stirring. Once it’s done, he pours it into a large bowl (after taking a few big spoonfuls for himself) and makes his way to the bedroom.

When he reaches his destination, Matt is sitting on the bed beside a mostly-asleep Shiro, running his fingers through his sweaty hair.

“Oh, thanks Lance,” says Matt, reaching out for the bowl, “Grocery shopping always makes me really hungry.”

“Speaking of which…” Lance says, “Your groceries are still all over the living room floor.”

“Oh, shit,” Matt’s eyes widen with realization. He glances back and forth between Shiro and his bowl of macaroni, looking slightly frantic.

“Don’t worry about it!” Lance shrugs, “I can get it. You just… do yer thing in here.”

Matt’s entire body slouches with relief, “You’re a lifesaver, Lance. Gold star for you.”

“No prob, my dude!” Lance finger guns in his direction, then slips out the door. Before he sets to work, he pulls out his phone to text Keith.

> _Lance (2:09pm): Hey babe, might not be there when you get home._
> 
> _Lance (2:09pm): I’m unloading groceries for Shiro and Matt??_
> 
> **Keith (2:10pm): ???**
> 
> _Lance (2:10pm): TL;DR I returned some dishes but there was a situation so now I’m putting away groceries while Matt eats mac and cheese._
> 
> **Keith (2:11pm): I think I’m actually more confused than I was before you explained**
> 
> _Lance (2:11pm): Your brother is secretly a mess, babe._
> 
> **Keith (2:11pm): I am aware of this fact, yes**
> 
> **Keith (2:11pm): I’ve shared this information with you, in fact**
> 
> **Keith (2:11pm): Multiple times**
> 
> _Lance (2:12pm): SEEING IS BELIEVING, OKAY_
> 
> **Keith (2:12pm): Is he ok?**
> 
> _Lance (2:12pm): Ye, he’s fine._
> 
> _Lance (2:13pm): But man, that was? Weird? And scary? He’s SHIRO! He’s supposed to have his shit together. He’s like the REAL adult in the midst of all us baby-adults!_
> 
> **Keith (2:13pm): Yeah… it’s scary**
> 
> **Keith (2:13pm): But he’s just a person**
> 
> **Keith (2:13pm): People never have their shit together ALL the time**
> 
> _Lance (2:14pm): OKAY GOTTA GO I just realized there are probably things that need to go in the freezer!!_
> 
> _Lance (2:14pm): Byyyyeee~ <3_
> 
> **Keith (2:14pm): You’re ridiculous**
> 
> **Keith (2:14pm): <3**

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna come say hi, I'm [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!
> 
> Also: Please remember that I write purely for fun and catharsis. My fics are unbeta’d and minimally proofread. They’re not perfect, and that’s okay. If you notice something I could fix or improve, please keep those thoughts to yourself. If I genuinely want critique, I’ll ask a close friend in private. **Surprise critiques are very stressful and discouraging.** Thanks for understanding!


End file.
